Columnists :: Talk It Out
Living in a Violent Society
Escalating violence against gays is terrifying, but is the option of arming ourselves against would-be bashers a comfort -- or an escalation?
Dr. Vince Pellegrino has PhDs in educational theater and drama therapy from New York University and is a board-certified psychotherapist in New York City and Connecticut. He teaches communications at Hofstra University. He is currently working on a book, Gay Communication Game, about "Gayspeak"; an interactive TV program featuring real-time therapy sessions is in development.
Other Recent Columns
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Top Or Bottom? These Terms Carry Meaning Out of the Bedroom
Many bottoms have a stigma about being considered effeminate and other stereotypes. Such fears may hide a wider self-internalized homophobia.
Don’t De-Emphasize De-Stressing!
In today’s stressed-out world, we all need to find pursuits that give us downtime and take us away from our routine.
Value - And Work to Keep - Your Closest Friendships
Per Bette Midler, you gotta have friends. It takes work & sometimes they’re a pain. But it’s important to have them there by your side when you need them.
After 60, Men Need to Accept the New Realities of Dating
Rejection isn’t easy. It’s harder when you’re in late middle age. Does that mean giving up? No, but it means accepting realistic expectations about Mr. Right.
Keep Looking for the Right Guy - & Don’t Fear Rejection
Like a fear of public speaking, being afraid to approach guys involve deep-rooted fears & childhood experiences. Don’t shy away from approaching guys you like. You just may be pleasantly surprised.
Welcome to the Digital Bathhouse
Hooking up online has become nearly ubiquitous in the gay world. Grindr has taken the old bathhouse cruising and brought it into the street. But all this fast-food sex can have consequences.
The Real ’New Normal’: No Stereotyping
’The New Normal’ & ’Partners’ bring up some uncomfortable situations as well as the old question about stereotyping gay characters & behavior -- and the ways that can be used by our enemies against us.
Effects of Bullying Linger Into Adulthood
It wasn’t enough that many of us had to endure incessant bullying when we were growing up; now researchers are finding that the effects last well into adulthood. But you can fight the effects -- by standing up for yourself & others.
Why So Many Gay Men Are Serial Liars
On the phone, online chat or texting, too many gay men casually lie about themselves, about how they feel to the other person. It comes from a sense of shame, but won’t change until one recognizes it.
For My Brother, It’s All ’Gay Shame.’ Shame on Him
After marching all day in NYC’s Gay Pride, I was on a high -- until my brother answered the phone and tried to bring me down with his sharp moralizing. Every day is Gay Pride, which means asserting it to the naysayers.
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